The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Claus with “Merry Christmas” up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.As the woman is getting dressed the guy asks, “If you don’t mind, would you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?”She said,” I’m sick and tired of my husband complaining that there is nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas.”President Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all.They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight.They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk. After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest. Waving a gloved hand the Imp summoned a floating television, snapping his fingers where a remote control landed in his hand. "Let’s check the boob tube and see what those mooks on Earth are doing." With each channel he passed Mxyzptlk grimaced when he popped to a news channel. There standing with a smile and shaking hands with the police captain the Flash waved to the cameras where in the background several robbers outside the city bank sat tied up and unconscious. "All in a day’s work everyone, well I’ve got to be going but don’t worry if you need me I’ll be there in a flash!" Bleh… Now that’s just corny!"The next channel showed Super Girl, smiling with a blush on her face while cameras flashed in the foreground. The BACK ground however had a school bus with cheering children, recently saved from what would have been a fatal fall from a broken bridge. "Don’t worry kids, you’ll still be able to make it to school on time, be sure to give your teacher an apple on me." Waving to the kids.
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